the things people say

                I studied a language in college, so I’m quite partial to funny translations and things that people say while speaking a second language.  I do it all the time in Spanish.  I’ve embarrassed myself on a number of occasions by saying something accidentally which didn’t come out as it should have.  For example, on our first family trip to Mexico, I was chatting up our cab driver who drove us from the airport to the hotel.  When he asked how many years I’d been studying Spanish, I responded with “one anus.”

                That being said, I love hearing the funny things that my students come up with while testing out their English speaking skills.  I’ve already told you about the great openers they use in their essays.  The stuff they say out loud is even better.  It’s hard not to laugh when they say these sorts of things.  I want my students to feel no shame when they’re speaking English.  Even if it comes out wrong, at least they’re trying.

                Here are a couple of great things I’ve heard around the village.

·         “My shoes are tomatoes!” (Explaining how his boots were slipping in the mud after a rain)

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·         Teacher: “Where do bees live?”

Students: “In a bee house!”

·         “Good morning!” (This is the typical greeting at any time of day.  A typical response? `“Yes!”)

·         “This year, we must pull up our socks and work hard!”

·         “I don’t know why they keep the church unlocked.  Anyone can go in, defecate, and go out.”

·         “You must have the laundry done and the food cooked when the man comes home.  If not, he will beat you.  With his wet socks.  He will even beat you with the loaf of bread!”

·         (Sign in a women’s bathroom): “Ladies: please do not flush pads down the toilet.  Please put them in the waste ‘she’ bin”.

·         Teacher:  “Speak English!”

Student:  “I am terrible, sorry.”

"You can now see that it is snoring.  When it is snoring, we must wear our coats and hats to school."  (My principal; she meant to say that it is 'snowing'.)

"You must cut off your heads!" (My principal--"You must cut off your hairs")

"You are working very hard, like a man in the toilet."  (My principal, again, in a pep-talk to the students)

Names of stores are also hilarious to read.  I’m sure I totally annoy my fellow volunteers anytime I’m in a car with them, because I love reading the signs out loud.  A couple great places I’ve seen around Maseru:

·         Grandma-Baby Car Wash

·         Fruit and Veg Store: Where Supply Meets Demand

·         The Cheapest Supermarket

·         The Friendliest Supermarket

·         The Reliable Supermarket

·         So Close, Yet So Far

·         Casino (this is a roadside shack made of scrap metal)

·         Just The Guys
·       Armpit-Dallas Aluminum
·         The Bar-Bar Shop
·         Effective Hair Salon

·         And some of the more original shacks will just say: food is here

I’m blanking on some of my favorites, but I’ll keep adding to my lists.  Sometimes I bring a notepad and pen to school just to write down all of the things that I hear.  The funny part is, I’m picking up on a lot of these things.  When someone calls out “good morning!” to me before school, it’s hard to catch myself before I call back “yes!”.